One Way, Out

The Suturday News and Tribune gave prominent place to the idea that one of New Albany's anchors to a bygone era may soon be cut loose.  The time for one way streets has come and mercilessly held on here. Call it ennui, call it too much money that we won't spend to turn traffic lights around, or call it "by God I bought these plaid bell bottoms and I'm going to get my money's worth out of them", but please, just call a halt to the one way streets in New Albany.

This town has much to offer when it recognizes what we have and then follows through with recognition of what to do with it. The twin catalysts of the YMCA coming to downtown New Albany, and the delineation of the Riverfront Development District, a.k.a. the cheap liquor license zone, led to a vibrancy in downtown that hasn't been seen in decades. The lesson here is, give people a reason to come downtown and, viola music, they'll come downtown.

Could a possible counterforce be at work when we give people what they don't want? Or, could we inadvertently be sending out kryptonitic vibes about downtown when we establish traffic patterns which do nothing so much as move people through town with greater alacrity than a coffee house bathroom break after a double espresso and a bran muffin? Spring Street pretty much says to those who happen upon it from elsewhere, "keep moving folks, nothing to see here, get on back to your homes and places of business." And, there's a further bit of unspoken advice, "wrap yourself in a couple tons of steel if you want to navigate these streets." Between Silver Street and Clark County there is nothing to slow cars down, and this is a two-way section of the street. Towards the other end of Spring, at the government center and the Library, the one-way street is filled with drivers jacked up with visions of the Big Green sign leading out of New Albany; many of these people are focused on a goal that does not always see, or make allowances for, the un-carred.

It's good to look toward removing the one way signs around town. But, maybe the one way should refer not simply to a street direction or traffic pattern but to THE single way we look at ordering society. And that one way is, how can we, as humans, placate the motorized beings which dictate how our cities are gutted to make more room for the resting oil-eaters, how can we reorder our lives to make not only spatial but psychological room for our internal combustion buddies, how much more of here will be written off because we can so easily drive to there?        

New Albany will soon face an increase in traffic to levels we could not imagine in our worst-case-scenario wargames, due to the closing of lanes on I-65 and following on the heels of that increase will be the onslaught of the bargain hunters who see New Albany as a No-Tolls detour around the EEC and I-65. ( as an aside...I originally thought the EEC referred to the East End Connector, apparently it actually refers to the European Economic Community, in recognition of the two socialist powerhouses, Germany and France,(( FRANCE,  Governor Pence, did you hear that? the cheese-eating, wine-swilling, bidet-using, surrender monkeys are coming to bail our cheap, weak-kneed, Tea Bagger butts out of the fire)) which are funding the Indiana share of the bridge. Kentucky, which has no truck with socialists, won't participate in the EEC financing scheme in the same dilettantish way Indiana will.) Because drivers will be hell bent on a smooth passage through New Albany, they'll have little use for our quaint attempts at catching their attention. This increase in drivers will not add to the general welfare, except perhaps for some sated State Police appetites for new customers on thoroughly urban thoroughfares. The streets, with no built in safety mechanisms, calming devices, or calming practices, such as two way traffic, will be less safe than today, less welcoming to pedestrians or cyclists.

It is difficult to underestimate the sheer hell of noise pollution the citizens of New Albany who live within, and no phrase is better, earshot of the expressways will experience during the construction and preparation for construction of the bridges.

So, mark me down as a firm "aye" vote on any attempt the administration makes toward eliminating one way streets. Further mark me down as a solid and enthusiastic "aye" on any attempts the administration may offer on helping New Albany take a progressive stand in reordering our city away from automobile-centric development and toward human-scale development.  

techNicoloR nightmAre

Since the news of the slaughter of school children of Newtown, Connecticut began to assault our senses last December, the nation has tried to feel its way to a place where such tragedy is unknown, or certainly less likely.

Since December 14, 2012 at least 3,346 more Americans have died by gunfire. Some of these could be suicides, some could be accidents, some of the people shot were committing crimes, some were armed, some were not. The lobbying arm of the gun and ammunition manufacturing industry, often referred to as the National Rifle Association, has fought the nation's immediate expression of revulsion against guns after the Newtown massacre to a draw. Many polls show in excess of 2/3 of Americans want tighter restrictions on the sale of guns, equivalent numbers want other curbs, such as fewer bullets per clip, tracking of gun show sales, and universal background checks for gun purchasers. Many pols show no spine when confronted by the fanatical gun lobby; Tea Party senators pledge a stonewall defense, through filibuster, against even taking a vote on gun legislation.

The gun apologists dissemble and assure us that, guns don't kill people, people kill people. So, cigarettes don't kill people either? People smoking cigarettes, kill people (themselves). The Max Headroom of the NRA, Wayne LaPierre, tautologizes that the only thing that stops a bad person with a gun is a good person with a gun.

Constantly ignored by the NRA is the fact that the United States is awash in guns. Perhaps coincidentally, the United States leads the industrialized world in gun deaths, yet LaPierre wants no restrictions, which means he believes we have not yet reached a sufficient number of guns to be safe. It is difficult  to know just how many guns will finally spell safety, but be certain, the NRA will continue to explore those frontiers and help us add to the stockpile. Logic tells us that a floor strewn with tacks increases the danger that we will step on one, so sensible people don't throw more and more tacks on the floor, and walk barefoot.  Why doesn't the same logic apply to guns?

We seem now to face the loss of resolve the nation showed after the Newtown massacre. The spineless, venal, craven, caviling toadies of the NRA wish to sweep the tragedy under the rug. Their motto is "out of sight, out of mind." And their goal is to get back to the business of arming the USA to the teeth, thus squaring the deal they made with the lobbyists. Unfortunately, their stonewalling may succeed. The fresh graves of Newtown's cemeteries, and the fresher ones across the nation since that day, apparently lack shock value. The gun lobby would have us believe these graves are found in the rounding errors of democracy, a frontier where it's every man for himself and each of us must live in fear of our freedom being stolen.

I sincerely believe that if our elected officials in Washington, and in state capitols around the nation would do just one thing to commemorate the victims in Newtown, we would break the back of the NRA, its insidious hold on our democracy, and our collective safety. The one thing, the one action we could take to pry the cold, cold, fingers of the NRA from the neck of our nation is to insist our elected representatives look at the crime scene photographs of the children gunned down in the school house massacre. Bear witness to the gory, bloody, hideous dismemberment wrought by modern military weapons, see what the relentless pummeling of machine gun fire does to the flesh of these innocents. Bear witness to that carnage, Senator McConnell and a dozen more of your sycophants, then look into the eyes of the parents who buried those children and parrot LaPierre's crap that the only thing that stops a bad man with a gun, is a good man with a gun. Then, tell me how you sleep at night.         

A Third A Third A Third

While the train carrying the effort to open the K & I Bridge to use by citizens has left the station, and before this metaphorical train goes too far down the track, alphabetically speaking, while we're still in the Cs, let's consider another C. The resolution recently passed by the New Albany Common Council suggested that the effort to open the K & I  pursue "any and all means" to bring about that opening. To be sure, condemnation is one of the strategies which should be considered. But condemnation has an unsavory connotation which could lead to protracted legal entanglements which would not well serve any of the affected parties, neither New Albany and Louisville nor the railroad currently exercising control of the bridge.

Rifling through the kit bag of remedies to this conundrum another C comes to mind. This C would also require the expenditure of  legal energy, possible redefinitions and reinterpretations of property law. But it may offer a less contentious solution which would allow the citizens north and south of the river and the railroad to live amicably as neighbors. Might it be possible to condo the bridge?

Under this alternative, the Norfolk Southern would divide the bridge into ownership units of the eastern automobile deck, the western auto deck and the middle rail bed and tracks. New Albany and Louisville could jointly purchase ownership of the auto decks while the Norfolk Southern would hold ownership of the rail road itself. Just as in a residential condominium a condo association would oversee the maintenance issues surrounding the condo project. Just as in a residential condo the several owners would be responsible for the maintenance on a percentage of occupancy basis. In the case of the bridge, the railroad as the largest unit owner would be responsible for the largest share of the maintenance costs. The condo bylaws would bind the owners of the shared property to certain rules and responsibilities just as those who share ownership in a residential or office condominium.

If this is a possible structure for this project, it might prove to be a quicker path to the goal of re-opening the bridge.

 

Gratuitous Limbaugh Bashing? Why Not?

 

 

The environmentalist wackos over at The Huffington Post displayed this picture as part of a series of stupid, questionable, or laughable bits of graffiti. It was painted on some bridge, somewhere, by some stupid person who couldn't spell "dolphins", and who somehow tried to elevate his own sorry existence to a  level higher than the dolphins he ineptly attempted to disparage. Which calls to mind that fan of dolphinry, the Oxymoron.

 

 I don't know how many years ago the Supreme Ego that is Rush Limbaugh tried to elevate his sorry self above the level of his betters, the far-superior mammalian species he mocked--at least far superior to the Oxymoron*Limbaugh himself-- by stating, and I paraphrase here, "...if dolphins are so wonderful, so intelligent, why don't they have dolphin highways and go to dolphin hospitals. If they don't have them, if they can't take care of themselves, then screw 'em."

 

Perhaps Limbaugh has now wasted down to such a level that sentient beings no longer listen to his inane braying. Perhaps pointing out his past brayings is much ado about no one. But, I somehow think he still has street cred within the once-legitimate Republican party. So until the formerly-respectable party has flushed that particular floater away, he is still in the punch bowl of political discourse, still on the G.O.P.'s guest list and still a target for disparagement.  

 

 

 

*Oxymoron in the sense of one who is a moron due to his use and abuse of Oxycontin, his lack of sympathy for others who have run afoul of the law for drug related crimes and now spend years in prison, and one who forced his hired help to illegally procure drugs for his habit thus insulating his sorry soul from culpability in his crimes; all while holding himself out as a paragon of rightness in its varied meanings.

 

Literally, How About a Yard Sale?

During the 2011 campaign, in this space, I had posted several items which I referred to as a "Nudge List". The ideas were ones I hoped to convince, connive or cajole the Mayor into taking up as his ideas. Admittedly, it's a roundabout process, but a few things are in the works.

So now, in light of the current situation surrounding the County's budget, which isn't good and which is widely covered in the Courier-Journal and The Tribune, I'd like to dust off the nudge list and add another, more timely, item.

Now that the City has staked out its own course on parks, and now that a recent bond issue has begun to take shape for various recreational projects such as a pool, a sports complex, and a soccer venue, and since the County now finds itself a touch short, maybe now the City should offer to take Community Park off the County's hands and in the process help it close the budget deficit it now faces. A good price would be $2.4 million.

All citizens of Floyd County could continue to avail themselves of the park's amenities, and the County would be off the hook for maintenance. The City has demonstrated a greater commitment to the parks throughout the years, so why not buy Community Park and let the County get its financial house in order?

Driver, Can You Spare a Dime?

Last night the City Council voted 5 to 3 to uphold Councilman Phipps's ordinance against in-street collections for charities or other causes. I voted no and thought I'd explain why.

I'm normally quite in agreeance, as an incarcerated former co-worker might say, with Mr. Phipps. I'm certain his intentions are good with this ordinance. I'm not strongly committed to either side of the argument. In fact, if I had just been hit up for a donation at some street corner, I might have voted differently. And that may be the basic reason I voted against the measure. Just because my easy-mark status makes me vulnerable to gentle tugs on my purse strings, I don't want to pull the plug on all street solicitations.

I'm sure that's not the impetus behind Mr. Phipps's bill. I believe he genuinely sees it as a safety issue.

I don't see that standing in the middle of a street corner is, or should be, terribly dangerous. If people are driving so recklessly that anyone not armored with a ton or so of molded metal is vulnerable to vehicular trauma, our city needs greater help than this ordinance offers. If drivers are so surprised to see humans on a street, that tells us more about the preeminence of machines over humans, and the ordinance will not balance that equation. If people are so stupid and distracted, and hellbent on reaching their destination when driving, then the streets aren't safe for anyone.

 

Admittedly, common sense guidelines need to be followed in collections at intersections. Special attention should be taken of young participants of the bucket brigades so they don't act irresponsibly. And yes, other forms of fund raising might be favored over collections at intersections. But we should not fall into the pattern of seeing streets as a no man's land fit only for the efficient movement of cars and trucks.

I've asked for a street light to be installed on East Spring at Cost Avenue. I saw a child nearly run over there because she was exercising the level of caution one might expect from, a child. Apparently that location does not rise to the level of concern needed to earn the investment of a traffic light. A traffic light there might make that long block from Silver Street to the county line a safer place for pedestrians.

I've also asked for a street light at West First and Spring. I've almost been hit there and I've seen others almost  hit there. The response from INDOT was that it's analysis didn't show enough hazard at that intersection to inflict delay on drivers headed toward the Big Green signs of the interstate. I interpreted that dismissal to mean that absent a fatality or two at that corner, there was no need to bother motorists with  a traffic signal.

The fact is, streets are for people. Some of the people using those streets may be drivers. But the more we assign primacy to people in cars over people moving or using the streets in other ways, the longer it will take to ever arrive at a point where we reassert it is people who belong in their  city. It is people the city is built for, not cars. Since "transportation planners" long ago saw fit to route interstates through the hearts of many cities, the scales have been tilted overwhelmingly toward the automobile. I see no reason to aid or abet their mistakes. And I see this proposal as acquiescence in further relegating streets to the exclusive domain of the car.

 

If Life Hands You Lindens, Make Lindenade

At yesterday's Redevelopment Commission meeting I floated a lead trial balloon of turning the woebegone property of Linden Meadows into a water park. You may recall that years ago Linden Meadows, which is situated hard by I-64 and near Fairview Cemetery in the Valley View Court area, was on its way to becoming a major project of the New Albany Community Housing Development Organization (CHDO). The aim was to relocate good housing stock displaced by Floyd Memorial 's expansion to a nearby site, thus keeping affordable housing available for New Albany home buyers. The project foundered for numerous reasons and was recently erased from the intended relocation area as the houses in advanced stages of deterioration were bulldozed and the lots cleared.

Prior to that sad chapter the land had been a park featuring several baseball diamonds, Howard McLean Park. I live quite close to Linden Meadows and lived equally close when it was still a park. We used to take our dogs there to run. For a long time I remember seeing the park from the Interstate but never being able to figure out exactly where it was. (You may not want to go deep into the woods with me and rely on my orienteering skills to get back out.) For the superannuated readers, Howard McLean Park-remember this was in the days before Google Earth-seemed to me like the purse in Fontaine Ferry's Mirror Maze. In the hall of mirrors near the back was what appeared to be a mirror but was really a clear glass; behind the glass was an open purse with a lipstick and a wallet with a couple dollars spilling out of it. I always wanted to reach for it, but it was forever out of reach. Such to me was Howard McLean Park. And, I had several people report the same phantasmal perception of the park. Flying Dutchman Park?

Well, now there's no housing re-development and there's no park. But there is support for an aquatic center, a water park, call it what suits you, somewhere in New Albany.

The property once known as Linden Meadows is an excellent place to build a new water park. As mentioned above, the property sits close to the right of way for I-64. That alone is a huge negative for construction of new houses. Hell's Own Doorbell, the satanic Jake Brake, growls incessantly at all hours of the day or night. Such background noise is not a welcome ingredient when showcasing curb appeal.  It would matter not a bit to kids playing in a pool.

Not Linden Meadows is close to hundreds of houses with children, and many  of those children are not blessed with affluence. Building a water park in Not Linden Meadows would be an invitation to those children and their families to enjoy themselves while actively beating summer's heat, rather than retreating to an air conditioned couch in front of the television or game screen.

Not Linden Meadows is accessible by foot or bicycle for hundreds of kids. For those slightly farther away, State Street is just a couple blocks distant and is served, meagerly for now, by TARC buses. Now that New Albany controls its own parks, perhaps we can offer other modes of transportation through the Parks Department. Regardless of whether the water park is finally built at Not Linden Meadows or someplace else, it must be in a place conducive to people who don't drive or have access, because of working parents, to rides to the pool.

Also on the list for consideration as a site for the water park are three other locations: an undisclosed inner city spot, the front of Community Park, and the former Camille Wright Pool. Community Park, because of the pedestrian desert that is Grant Line road, is in my mind disqualified. Camille Wright probably would be fine since it once housed a popular pool, and it would be accessible by many nearby kids by foot or bike, but it is well-suited for infill housing.. And, of course the undisclosed location can't be considered since we don't know where it is.

So, that brings us back to Not Linden Meadows. It is located within safe, easy, reach of a lot of kids. The land, because of its noisy neighbor I-64, is not a prime house building spot. The proximity to the West End would bring welcome investment to that section of the City that is often slighted.

Not Linden Meadows is close to Cherry Valley  golf course  (it was once part of the golf course when it was Valley View). That would allow golfers to golf while other family members play in the water. When the golfer finishes the course in summer's heat a dip in the pool could be a refreshing end to the day.

New Albany has gone long enough without a pool of some sort. It's time to move toward a water park, pool or aquatic center. And, it's time to bring Not Linden Meadows full circle and return it to park status.